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Jesus and John (Alpha Female and Male of the Universe)

December 5, 2012

>Andy Boden at JPL writes:
>it is more than just a little objectionable that he
>chooses to anthropmorphise that creator as an attractive and
>apparently doting lover. But in his second story for him to

Don’t you think that Jesus is a doting lover? If God is pleased when
two people get married, don’t you think that God would be ecstatic if
his only son married the person God wants him to marry?

I will tell you who I think I am. About 20 years ago I started getting
memories of baptizing Jesus and getting beheaded. I think I am the
reincarnated John the Baptist. I remember more now, 20 years later, so
I will tell you what I now remember about when I was John the Baptist
and also about Jesus.

I knew Jesus my entire life when I was John because we were relatives
and would visit each other on holidays and birthdays. I was always
most happy when Jesus was around. When we were both children we would
play so happily when his family visited mine or ours theirs. When we
played, I would always try to prove to Jesus that I was smarter than
he was and he would always try to prove he was more talented. We
played games nobody had ever thought of. When we got older, Jesus’
family started having serious financial trouble while my family got
very wealthy. Elizabeth, my mother, got a vision that said I should
stay at home and learn the accumulated knowledge of the Roman Empire
through scrolls. I learned Greek and Latin and studied furiously
whatever my curiosity led me to. Elizabeth would buy me scrolls by
the cartload while Jesus made the cabinets to hold them. I had quite
a library including all the scrolls of the Bible and lots of scrolls
from Latin and Greek philosophers like Aristotle.

When God called me to go out into the wilderness to prepare the way
for the Messiah, I did. He wanted me to live in absolute poverty to
atone for me living in splendor most of my life. I did not think that
Jesus, someone I’ve known and loved all my life, was the Messiah until
he came to the Jordan River to be baptized by me. He told me the
baptism was an engagement for us to be married not for this life but
the next. God was pleased, first time I heard His voice. Jesus asked
me what woman’s name he should have in the next life so I would
recognize her. I chose “Uni” since it is Latin for “one” which is
appropriate for a Messiah. Jesus told me to: “Continue to be a
seeker of the truth and that if I doubted everything except that I
love Jesus and that we would be together again in the flesh, I would
find it.” Jesus said that God wanted him to take the guilt of the
world and fling it into the noonday sun. I think that Jesus headed
straight for the sun after he ascended past the clouds, 40 days after
his resurrection. When his body finally got close enough to the sun
to burn, the Holy Spirit started raining back down to Earth. It
reminds me of a Star Trek (The Original Series) episode where a very
guilt ridden captain flies his ship straight into a star.

>But in his second story for him to seriously
>consider userping the bodies of his *own* unborn children in order
>to give life to other human beings who have already lived their
>lives is quite twisted and offensive.

Sometimes parents do things to their children that seem cruel in the
short run but in the long run very kind. Read the rest of story and
you will find that the hero loved and provided for Michael, Stuart,
and Erik very much and it was in their best interests to have Einstein
in their family — read the rest of the story.

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